How are you love?
I'm posting this video because I think it's important. Something I see so often in the coaching industry is rushing our clients progress and transformation for the coaches ego. I don't think it's conscious, and I don't think it's intended to hurt anyone...but it's present.
Coaching is a unique industry because so much of our own shit can come into play. If the coach has a worthiness wound (and who doesn't!) then often times we'll project our own need for validation on the client. The client NEEDS to have a profound breakthrough, they NEED to wildly transform, they NEED to have a crazy up level. SO THAT the coach feels worthy and validated.
So often times coaches push their clients farther than the client can handle. Now listen, I definitely think there's a delicate balance of tender and nurturing but also not getting on the client's merry go round of bullshit...but the MOST healing thing in my opinion for a coach to do, is to help their clients recognize their own sovereignty.
Meaning, the client ALWAYS knows best. The coach NEVER knows better and the coach should always follow the client's guidance as to how much they want to push themselves.
It's actually not that helpful for the coach to push someone past their limits. We can of course encourage, and inspire, but it's SSOOOOOO much more healing for someone to go at their own pace.
Check out this short video to hear more thoughts about this topic of what I believe truly makes a masterful coach.
"So, when I was doing my breathwork facilitator training with Pause breathwork, Sam had a woman names Rachael Maddox come in who's a trauma specialist so that way we could learn how to do trauma-informed breathwork. And one of the biggest takeaways that I learned from Rachael, is how healing it is to go slow with clients.
And I think many coaches, me included up until a month ago...kind of had this energy of, 'let's get the transformation! let's get the breakthrough! and it's going to be so profound! Go go go!'
And that's actually not as helpful as teaching your clients that sovereignty is the most healing thing that can happen.
Sovereignty meaning, them knowing beyond anyone else what is best for them. And so giving your clients permission to have the end say of what their body wants to do.
Is your body ready for this transformation? Is your body ready to dig into this trauma? Is your body ready to talk about this?
If not, then the most healing thing I can do as a coach is to absolutely respect and honor that decision rather then being like, 'no you can do it, let's go there, let's breakthrough this thing!'
It's actually not that helpful. And I think a good coach is a delicate balance between not getting on my clients' merry-go-round of bullshit -- like I'm not going to buy into your lame stories -- but also going so slow and letting my client have absolute sovereignty and absolute final say of what their body wants to do and how far their body wants to go.
Because only you know the timeline of your healing and it can't be rushed anyway.
And this is why so much of my coaching and so much of my breathwork facilitation is first establishing a sense of safety. Safety in the body, safety in the room. Like what might feel safe in this room? Maybe it's your blanket, maybe it's a crystal you brought with you, maybe it's the ground.
And then safety in the body. Where do you feel safe in your body? Maybe it's your heart, your hands, your feet...maybe just gravity feels safe.
But cultivating that felt sense of safety creates a foundation in which the client can have some real healing at their own pace and that's been really cool to watch in the last few weeks.'