WHY REJECTION IS FUN
Hi Queen! Happy Tuesday love. I'm comin' in hot from my favorite coffee shop right now, sipping on an iced latte and typing to YOU.
If you’re anything like me, you’re terrified of rejection. It’s a big part of what keeps you playing small. It’s one of the most common things most people avoid when on the path to expansion.
Thoughts of, “But what will they think?” “Who am I to do this?” “What if I offend her?” “Is this too much?” “What if I come off as stuck up?” fill your head.
And it makes sense, humans are wired for connection. We need each other. Our biggest fear is separation or getting “kicked out of the tribe” so to speak. Biologically, the brain knows that if we get kicked out of the tribe, we die…so the anxiety is through the roof when it comes to being rejected.
Here’s a different spin to put on rejection…Rejection is fun! It means progress. It’s an opportunity to improve, or even…an opportunity to say, “you know what I still love me even though they rejected me.” It's a chance to deepen your own self love and self acceptance.
If you’re addicted to what people think of you, you’re giving other people power and control over your life... and that’s the formula for losing.
This is very related to learned helplessness.
If you let other people dictate how happy you’re allowed to be, you’ll always feel empty. Trust me on this one. I know.
And here’s the other thing, other people aren’t thinking about you, they’re thinking about what you’re thinking about them! I mean, not all the time of course…but often.
A friend of mine told me a story of something her mentor said to her once and it almost knocked me to the ground. She was worried that she was letting him down by playing small and he responded, “do you really think I stay awake at night worried about you??” ...Essentially he told her to get over herself!
But that story actually helped me so much because it was a reminder that people are focused on their own lives. They're not losing sleep over the things I do.
If your life is about impressing other people, you will never fill up that void that’s inside of you. No amount of praise, or external validation can do it. We have to fill it ourselves.
Of course I want people to like me, I want validation…it feels good! But my confidence can’t be based off of it. Our confidence has to be based on our behavior, our integrity to ourselves, our mission, our purpose, our beliefs…
Being scared of rejection is the addiction to other peoples approval – don’t give into it.
Instead, fill that need for approval with something really special...fill it with your own kindness. That's where it always starts..kindness, warmth, and compassion to the self. Eventually, the kind words become your go to.
TYPE “NO MORE” in the comments if this is something you’re ready to let go of.